This page contains quotes I run into and which I consider funny, striking or remarkable.

Although statements that I totally disagree with will not be included without my comments, the fact that a statement is in this list does not necessarily mean I agree with it in its current form. Obviously with the exception of the quotes that are attributed to myself.

In the dutch version of this page all statements are shown in the language and form in which I found them. In the English version non-English quotes have been translated to English by me.
All quotes are attributed to the person they were attributed to in the source that I found them in.
No investigation has been performed to establish the reliability or correctness of the sources.

UitspraakDoor
Simplicity is a great virtue but it requires hard work to achieve it and education to appreciate it. And to make it worse: complexity sells betterEdger W. Dijkstra
Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymorePetteri Tarkkonen (via twitter)
The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they make the best of everythingJoshua Davidson (via twitter)
The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotton.Mico Yuk (via twitter)
A bachelor might be as big an idiot as a married man. But he isn't told every day.Wiet van Broeckhoven
My people skills are just fine.
It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
T-shirt print
Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.Martin Luther King
I don't have an issue with what you do in the church, but I'm going to be up in your face if you're going to knock on my science classroom and tell me they've got to teach what you're teaching in your Sunday school.
Because that's when we're going to fight.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?Albert Einstein
There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
Those who understand binary and those who don't
Unknown
There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke
@DBAKevlar
It isn't about what they take from you, but about what you do with what is left............Unknown
Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the person who will get the blame.Laurence Peter
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.Mahatma Gandhi
When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know.
But when you listen, you may learn something new.
Dalai Lama
The best way to make real your dreams, is waking up.@Modernegezegden
Choosing to be ignorant does not make knowledge (and, therefore, facts) go away or change in the least bit.
It just keeps you ignorant.
Steven Feuerstein
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
...as long as you aim well
Winston Churchill
We all know that light travels faster than sound.
That's why certain people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Albert Einstein
A clever person solves a problem.
A wise person avoids it.
Albert Einstein
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidenceCharles Bukowski
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves intoUnknown
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.Albert Einstein
'Best practices' are usually 'adequate practices' that haven't caused big problems in the pastJonathan Lewis
It's better to have a hole in your team than an asshole in your teamDan Jacobs
Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.Friedrich Nietzsche
Arbitrary power is most easily established on the ruins of liberty abused to licentiousness.George Washington
If there were a best way to do something, then we'd have never invented another way.Tom Kyte
The intelectual is someone who will start thinking only as a last resort; thinking in the sense of: allowing thoughts to enter, that officiously one already has, but didn't dare to formulate, because they go against what has already been formulated.Menno ter Braak
People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.George Bernard Shaw
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.Albert Einstein
We're sorta like 711.
We're not always doing business, but we're always open.
The boondock saints
I'm here to save your ass, not kiss it!T-Shirt in New Orleans
The Guide is definitive.
Reality is frequently inaccurate.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
You men are always generalizing....colleague, a long time ago, who apart from this is rather clever
Freedom is a secular state of grace which exists in permanent tension with tyranny and which we can claim for ourselves only if we never, ever, seek to deny it to others.Martin Bell, British politician
By arranging a meeting, you admit that other people should share your problems.Will Rogers
Population of the universe: NONE.

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
The Hitchhikers Guide to the galaxy between page 938.324 and 938.326
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before workMark Twain
The difference between something that can go wrong and something that can't possibly go wrong is that when something that can't possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.Douglas Adams
Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.Don Herald
The only difference between a hero and a fool is the fact that the hero survived his foolishness.Erik van Roon
People often say "there are no stupid questions".
They are wrong. They actually do exist.
But it takes a lot more time and energy to correct a stupid mistake than it takes to answer a stupid question, so please ask your stupid questions.
a wise teacher who didn't just teach physics
In the center of a compact mass one can not topple.
Therefore it's the ideal place for people who can not stand alone.
Antoon Vloemans
Expert: someone who is allowed to be wrong regarding the main issue, provided that all the details are unchallengeable correct.Julien de Valckenaere
I don't agree with mathematics.
the sum total of zeros is a frightening figure.
Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
You know you're middle-aged when a doctor in stead of a cop tells you to slow down.Adam Brody
There's no place like 127.0.0.1.Onbekend (T-shirt print)
You can divide people in two main categories: those who will be deceived by there emotions, and those who will be deluded by their reason.Jean de Boisson
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.Burt Bacharach
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.William Arthur Ward
'Be calm in arguing: for fierceness makes Error a fault, and truth discourtesy.George Herbert
You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture.
Just get people to stop reading them.
Ray Bradbury
To be able to endure loneliness is a strength - Only to be able to endure loneliness, a weakness.Pierre Reverdy
My wife leads a double life: hers and mine.Wiet van Broeckhoven
Nothing lasts except change.Heraclitus, Greek philosopher
If someone has decided that he found a satisfactory way of life as, for example, a homosexual, how could I be so impudent to send him in another direction?S. van der Kwast
The foolishness of others do not help us to become sensible.Napoleon
Simplicity is not the characteristic of the beginner.
It's the hard earned mark of the master.
Godfried Bomans
Nothing makes us more cowardly and unscrupulous then the urge to be adored by everybody.Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
What more beautiful could the gods give to mankind but a handsome face, but what use is it if dissatisfied expressions disfigure it?Erasmus
If I want unsolicited advise, I'll ask for it!Alfred E. Neuman
How absurd people are!
They never use the freedoms they have, but demand the ones they don't have.
They have the freedom of thought, but they demand the freedom of speech.
Sören Kierkegaard Danish Philosopher
In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.Paul Harvey
Can not argue about taste.
And bad taste exploits that skilfully.
Cor de Jonghe
It's better to apply the strength of mind to bear the misfortune that befall us, than to foreknow the ones that might befall us.Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you.
Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
George Carlin
A Person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.Mark Twain.

 


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